My Special Needs Boy - The Antman

In addition to being a TBI survivor and struggling daily with my mental and physical disabilities, I also have a special needs son who has a cognitive disability referred to as Intellectually Disabled or ID.

It's hard to describe Anthony's disability.  There really is no concrete diagnosis.  He is not on the autism spectrum, he has no chromosomal aberrations, and he did not suffer any head trauma or ingest any toxic substance that would have caused this birth defect.

Anthony has been through a myriad of medical tests, including an MRI, EEG, and a complete DNA markup.  Absolutely every test came back as 100% normal.  He has what they consider to be a non-syndromic intellectual disability and only 1-3% of the population is like this.

Anthony has an extremely low IQ.  Anthony is now 8 years old, however cognitively he is like a 2 year old.  He is potty trained and was able to be at a normal developmental age.  Anthony understands technology.  He can use a computer, iPad, iPhone, Playstation 3, and many other forms of technology.  Anthony can read really well, but he does not understand a lot of the words that he reads.  He can also do simple addition and can count well above 100.  Anthony can also go to the fridge, take out something to drink and pour it in a glass by himself.  Anthony can feed himself, get himself a snack, take a shower by himself (although I still help to make sure he washes properly) and do other simple health care tasks such as that so he is considered to have a moderate ID.

Socially, Anthony is very shy.  It takes him a long time to warm-up to people and be himself.  He knows he is different and it upsets him when other children ask him "what's wrong with you?"  Anthony desperately wants to be seen as a normal 8 year old boy and insists on doing everything other children do, even if it is something he struggles with.

Up until now Anthony has been mainstreamed at school.  The school district and his special education instructors are recommending that he be placed in a special day class for next year's school year.  I am on the fence about that because I know it will upset him to be removed from the school he loves and the kids he knows and loves.  Plus, he has been doing so well at his current school with the services he has been receiving.  It is not that the other school and class will not give him an adequate education, it is mainly that I am afraid removing him from the general population will prohibit his social growth.  The world is not a special day class and Anthony needs to find his place in society in order to survive.

Home life is very challenging with Anthony.  He wants to do everything his 11 year old twin brothers do, but doesn't understand why he cannot.  He has temper tantrums of a 2 year old when he doesn't get what he wants or he gets frustrated.  Luckily, those tantrums are predominantly saved for the home, Anthony has the social understanding to know that kind of behavior is not appropriate for elsewhere, especially at school so there are no behavioral problems at school.

The easiest way for me to describe Anthony is to say he is exactly like Forrest Gump.  He even has a Jenny just like Forrest had in the movie, although her name is Carly and she is just the sweetest girl.  It pains me that he may not be able to go to school with her next year.

So that is my Anthony, who we often call Ant or Antman.  I know God sent him down to me for a reason and I am blessed to have a special child just like him. Everyday has its specific challenges with the Antman but we manage and I can honestly say that his unconditional love is worth every single one of them.

If you are a mother of a special angel, please feel free to reach out to me and share your struggles, your obstacles, your successes, failures, advice, and frustrations.  We special needs mom's need a special place to be open and honest with our feelings and emotions.  This is my place but my door is always open for company.

-A